A Happy Ending /// The Journey of Digital Pulse, Part 3

Let's take a trip back to January 5th. I had just submitted Digital Pulse, my sci-fi superhero story with a dash of mystery (or perhaps suspense), to Rooglewood for the Five Poisoned Apples contest. I was on top of the world. December of 2017 had been one of the worst months of my life, as I had struggled accepting that an online friend of mine--someone I'd adopted as a sister--cut off all contact with me. But it helped me put some very real heart and emotion into the story, and I considered it one of my best. So I waited to hear back.

Now let's fast-forward to April 13th. The Rooglewood Facebook party had happened, and I found out I was not a finalist, an honorable mention, or even a Special Unicorn. That stung quite a bit, but I hadn't received my feedback form yet. Surely that would lift my spirits. Instead, it dragged me back down into despair and doubt, as I barely got 63% of the available points. If the contest had been a test, I would've gotten a D. While I gleaned lessons from the experience, it still hurt, and I decided that I needed some space from Digital Pulse.

And thus, from the day I finished the novella (December 29th, 2017) to just recently (August 19th, 2018), I hardly wrote a word. For two-thirds of a year, I virtually gave up on writing. I set goals for myself, but they were left undone. I sunk ever deeper into the abyss of "no story progress," a place I know all too well.

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Why am I only talking about this now? Well, I thought this mini-series was over, but last week Friday changed. Every journey has an end, and this is mine . . . for now, anyway. (For your information, today's post might be on the shorter side, but I hope that's okay.)

I need to explain some stuff before we get to the main point. I've mentioned my two New Zealand friends, Preston and Megan, in previous posts. Honestly, they're two of my best friends, and they've meant so much to me over the past five years. One of the things we like doing is voice chatting together.

Now, I'd sent them my three fairy tale retellings to read, but Megan is a very busy person and found it hard to get around to reading them. We eventually decided that we should read them aloud together, and man, are those fun times! The way we say certain lines, or add our own joke to the story, even going so far as to make our own memes out of things that are said, added a whole new humor to the experience.

Last Friday, we read the last half of the story, and we came to chapter 14, the most emotional--and possibly best--scene I've ever written in my life, which my friends agreed with. It captured the theme of the story, which is "love means letting go," in a wonderful way. I don't say that as an arrogant pat on my back, but simply out of my sheer awe that I was able to write something that good. (Saying that could still be interpreted as prideful, but I don't know how else to put it.)

So we finish the chapter, and I ask, "Do you guys want to hear the story about why this scene is so important to me?" They replied affirmatively, and so I told them about how a girl I considered--still consider--to be a sister to me left and took a piece of my heart with her. I had to realize that love meant letting go of her and hoping that she'd return one day. I ripped off the bandage and showed them the wound, because I trusted them.

(As a sidenote: I lost contact with them after the LEGO Message Boards closed down earlier this year, and I feared I'd never hear from them again. After my adopted sister disappeared, I'd hoped that God would turn my situation around, and later that month, Preston found me by the slimmest of chances on Google Plus. It led to us reconnecting, and telling them this whole story had me crying. It was such a moving and cathartic conversation for me.)

But anyway, after we finished reading the novella, I opened the feedback form to go over it with them and see what they agreed or disagreed with. Through this whole voice chat, I discovered a few important things:

1. The reason why I took the critique so hard at first was because of how emotionally invested I was in it. I felt that the judge wasn't examining my story, but rather attacking my personal experience, my hurt, my pain. Like she was claiming it was all worthless. I had to realize that she didn't know the whole story, and interpreting her words in that way wasn't right.
2. You can't please everyone. Some elements were given no written reason for why there were disliked, and others felt like personal opinion. You have to realize that if you try to make all your readers 100% happy, you will stress yourself out 100%. It's just not possible, so don't try. Do your best with what you have, because that's excellence.
3. There are still things you can glean from unpleasant feedback. There were issues that would've been fixed in the novelized version; others came from her not catching the references to the original tale. I can now focus on these when I expand the story to make sure it's at its peak form.
4. Surround yourself with a community of readers and writers. What I miss the most from the MBs was the instant feedback. You could post a chapter and have likes and comments by the end of the day. Being able to read my stories and discuss them with Preston and Megan brought my inspiration back and helped me see that I still have worth as a writer. Other friends, like Christine and Deb, or family members, such as Tracey, have also contributed to that.

I left the voice chat feeling so ready to write again that I began drafting my novelization of Darkened Slumber, my pseudo-feudal-Japan fantasy Sleeping Beauty retelling, on the following Sunday. Digital Pulse--and even the Rooglewood contests--and I left on a good note, something I had never expected to happen.

So yes, this post is fairly short, and it may feel out-of-the-blue. But I wanted to be open and genuine with you guys. I wanted to show you what's been taking place in the background because you might be struggling right now. You may be thinking there's no hope, and I empathize. I've said before that I feel like it's my duty to share this kind of stuff with you so that you can learn from it as well. My journey had been a dark, painful one, but I got my happy ending. God can do what we think is impossible. Trust Him. He can turn your worst situation around for good.

All you have to do is let go.